I have been sick since January 7 or so. Full blown all out sick, fever, flu, cold, bronchial junk, whole 9 yards. At first I relaxed into it, but then the discomfort overcame any relaxing I was doing. I have not been this sick in years. Thought I was getting better, took off for a great weekend with beloved old friends, bonded, reminisced, laughed. Came home and relapsed back into the sick zone.
It is JANUARY 23rd!!!
It is a new year, not only is it new but it is POST 2012 and we didn’t perish in the Mayan Apocolypse that I was so certain of for years! I am ecstatic! I want to dance a jig!
I had all sorts of plans. New Years resolutions, intentions, exercise and yoga plans for every day of the week! Meditating every morning. Create a big social network. Learn salsa dancing! Make daily blog posts. Go to the studio and make art 5 days a week. You get the idea.
I haven’t done a thing. Not only have I not done a thing but I’ve beat myself up and ripped myself a new one over my lack of accomplishments.
The negative self talk has been fairly extreme. So tonight, I managed to drag my sorry ass off to yoga with my dear teacher Britt, who had some time to spend with me before class. We talked about real stuff, got into it quick and the lightbulb went off. Maybe, just maybe… this is exactly what was supposed to happen. Maybe it’s just ok to be sick, make Corey dinner, REST, watch the rain, watch the Blazers, the Lakers , the Miami Heat, or whoever is playing tonight and curl up with a bowl of Ragu Pasta by the fire.
and its OK.
I don’t have to make 100 new friends this month, do 40 yoga classes, or hurl myself into anything else except for maybe my bed or the couch. Horizontal for sure.
So tonight, that is exactly what I did. Phew. Best night in weeks. Even feeling sick.
Thanks Britt. Om.
Can you believe this pasta is gluten free? Looks like the real thing, even tastes like it if you squint or whatever the equivalent gustatory pretend perception would be.
Yes, this is me. Watching a Blazer’s game. I watch them all now. Every night. Stranger things have happened. If you know me well, you know that first I never sit still long enough to watch anything except maybe Dexter and Homeland and Fringe. But a Blazer game? Very unusual behavior indeed.Not heading out for any big events tonight.
No sir-ee. This is just fine.
Acceptance and surrender. The big E-tickets in my book. Stay tuned for Part 2.